Monumental Goal

"I have a monumental goal for today" is what I said to my husband before I decided to bite my tongue and take it back. "What is it?" Says he. "Uh . . . nothing."

I decided the best decision I could make for today would be to not tell Mitch what it was, so that if for some reason I didn't reach my goal, I wouldn't feel bad for it.

And good thing I kept it a secret, because I didn't even attempt it. I told my co-workers the other day "I wish I was OCD a little bit so I could have a clean house ALL the time and my husband would love me for it."

And because I very much do not have OCD, my portion of the bedroom is very much looking like a train wreck. You know when you're little, and parents try to instill that habit of a clean bedroom into you? It didn't work for me. And when you're little, you think "It'll be different when I'm older."

And then when you're single and out of the house and still have that messy bedroom you think "It'll be different when I'm married."

And then you're married and only your side of the room is messy.. you feel bad. But at the same time you think "man, dealing with all these clothes is wayyy too much work!" Except when you say that outloud you're husband says "Oh, k then let's just give some away!!!"

No way Jose. I need all of them. Even all those that I can't find or don't remember that I have.

It's not even the rest of the house I have a problem with. Just my bedroom. Just MY clothes. They're always everywhere. And seeing as getting to that bedroom seems like the worst torture ever, I had deemed it monumental. 

I did not attempt it today though, because I had more important things to do. 

1) I HAD to buy a new bra. Before today, I only had TWO left that still fit me. And they were both sports bras. That's a terrible feeling.

2) As I was at the mall already, I HAD to shop around for maternity and baby things. So I picked up pretty much every cute thing I saw in every single store. Then, since Christmas is coming up I had to talk myself out of buying ANY cute thing I saw in every single store.

And then with these baby and maternity things I get conflicted.

"Oh it's only X dollars!"

"Oh but I (or baby) will only be able to wear it for X months"

:(

Back on the rack it goes.

How do people do this?!

Why can't these things be SUPER cheap because they will only be used for a SUPER short amount of time?! Or why can't I know someone who could give me all the things they wore/used for a few short months and will never need ever again? Why don't they have stores like that?!

 Anyway. Stressing about all of this, and doing some extreme internal battles all day at the mall left me ridiculously tired. And hungry. By the time I got home my goal seemed even far less appealing than before. And I nixed it. I will, however, entertain the thought again tomorrow.