Mom Questions

Moms go through a LOT of emotional turmoil. I’ve only been doing this for not even 4 months and I’m fairly sure I’m going to die young. Stress related.

With an exhausted baby and therefore, mother, things get all muddled in my head and I can rarely think straight. I know Tessa is in desperate need of some sleep training but then comes all the stress of:

how and when?

and wing it? 

Or planned step by step? 

With this method?

or that one?

or my own I just made up in my head?

Is she too young?

or does she weigh enough?

THEN when you decide WHAT to do it’s the: 

am I doing it right? 

This is too hard, 

do I keep at it?

or give up?

THEN did I give up too early?

and do I try again the same thing?

or rethink and do it totally different???

And in between each little question is all the internet research with comments on blogs and book reviews and controversial opinions on parenting styles and sleep train methods. Needless to say after all this, my mind becomes MORE muddled and then I think, what am I even trying to do here? I forget. And I give up trying to think of it again.

Today was definitely one of those days. 

When yesterday was sunshine and smiles and I thought I’m finally getting the hang of this business.

When I was the end of my rope, I read a comment on a blog from a girl I knew in college. Her post was exactly what I was feeling, and the comment left on it brought me to tears. I don’t know who she is in the slightest, but what she said was EXACTLY what I needed and what I NEED to remember. She wrote:

“and people always want to tell you what to do. And they forget that their baby isn’t your baby and their philosophies are not your philosophies and their sleeper is not your sleeper and so what they say might be helpful but might be worse than harmful (at least to your confidence) and so it’s a vicious cycle.”

All I wanted to say to that was AMEN. Then later she said:

“when you’re frustrated and you’re praying for help and you get that peaceful feeling about a crazy idea—that’s her and Heavenly Father telling you what to do.  You’ll do what’s right for her. And If I’ve learned anything, it’s that Satan is totally invested in keeping you from feeling that confidence in your instincts. You are her mommy. You know her better than anyone…”

How could I forget that? That I have the only person who really matters on my side all along? He knows Tessa and I know Tessa, and together we can figure something out.

So I cried and prayed. And we figured something out.

And I think before my mind becomes a big mess and I become frustrated, I should probably just bring all my mom questions to the man upstairs in the first place.